80 couples: New Year, Chinese New Year we to someone

Core Tip: are now husband and wife after 80 mostly small child, so during festive seasons look to be ENTangled: in the end to someone's reunion dinner? Went on the cold side of the other side, how to balance both parents? In fact, in our lives, there are some people because of New Year back home and tangled.Especially after 80 couples, they do not tangle is not back home, but who return home.

News Case:

1, a state-owned ENTerprises in Wenzhou city of Gary's work has been married for two years, annual holidays, go bother someone to eat all the problems.To his wife to her parents bar, left his home on over 80 parents and grandmother, like Family deserted the elderly; to his home bar, Laozhang Ren's death, wife's mother during festive seasons can only go to his sister join in the fun house, a people become more solitary."We are two couples out of the restaurant I'd want to give a feast, the two together to eat, but helpless grandmother walking, the idea appears to be unrealistic."...(According to Zhejiang Online)

2,"our first Spring Festival after marriage, must get back to my Family holidays, this is our tradition there, go back and see the new family was a young married woman."My husband Liu pool sitting on the sofa while smoking side says."I am a child of my parENTs, I have to go home with their New Year too."Before Liu pool finished, his wife Yang Fei jumped up from the sofa on blushing.Both you an I am one, who is not willing to do the slightest concession.Finally, the dispute at the two ends of a long silence.It is this marriage was little more than three months between husband and wife, as the New Year back to someone's disputed second place.Although the two have together discussed this before, but because they insist on holiday in their own homes, but failed to reach agreement.Yang Fei said, because she was considered to get married soon, so be sure to adhere to this year's Spring Festival holiday back to their homes."I do not want my parents think I really 'married daughter poured out like water'."Liu Chi can be thought that, far from his home in Xuzhou, Jiangsu Province, Chinese New Year throughout the year only a few days time to go back to see parents, Yang Fei lives in Leshan, can always go back and do not necessarily have to go home in the New Year...& hellip ; (according to WCC)

Ice: Which happy to have a balance of rights means that need to play down the significance of reunion

immediately go to the Spring Festival, many busy couples who are in differENT places for a year, now back home, and is back home or to father Yuemu Jia-laws do? Many newly married young couple will dispute this.They who have filled the grounds, but the other has the same reason, in the end how should I do?
some young couple tug of war, and finally the stronger ones who listen to the situation.Although this approach can give a result, but it is built on the basis of marital inequality.Although the weak side to the other parENTs house last agreed to, but my heart still feels aggrieved, injured, with this feeling back to the other parent's home, heart complaints, if not that, it is easy to see.
this couple, the presENTation of a control and anti-control of the war, but also a demonstration of attack and abuse repertoire.Accounted for the strong advantage of one party is generally normal, is decision-makers, since the strong will ADM, so they"were nailed to the upper hand position," the vast majority of families had to bear the responsibility, so Before you can enjoy the advantages of decision-making power.The weaker party is in a protected, controlled position, although they can enjoy the protection, but also lose a lot of opportunities to participate in decision making, you can lose a lot to feel powerful, the New Year does not return to their home, their hearts are complaints, but could do nothing.
the other hand, for the New Year back to dispute someone's wife, with argumENTs as a means of communication, indicating that they have not discussed the way adults learn, still with childhood sweets to the parents spoiled way to fight for their own interests.
Originally, the Chinese New Year back to someone is in a peaceful way to explore the small husband and wife have not spENT the run-in period, they can not assume the responsibility of a wife and a husband, and the other side is you want to meet their requirements unconditionally, the same way as a child,"noisy","trouble", so that the other party will be able to meet their own needs.But the other side is just entering the marriage, but also young and fit, the way noise is often provoked the other's anger, not only failed to meet the requirements of the first side, and sometimes turn into a New Year filled with the smoke of war, it can be worthwhile.
On a deeper level that the New Year back to someone involved in the delicate balance of marital power.Many elderly couple in order to maintain this balance, will be back this year, next year back to the house, the formation of a"system." The young couple has not established rules for a good marriage, is still in the quarrel gradually with time to establish rules for the trouble back to someone's point of awkward is normal, a couple of rules to gradually balance the effort made.
peace, equality, balance, and this is the couple to deal with the New Year back to the question someone needs to do such work and goals.
suggestions:

1, need to play down the significance of reunion, the more important sense, the more both sides will lose elasticity.New Year's goal is reunion, reunion dinner, if you live in a city, both parENTs should take care of.One alternative approach, at noon in the man's home (or woman's Family) happy, at home in the woman (or man's family) happy, New Year's Eve day, so that both parents have the opportunity to live a reunion of the year.

2, the traditional culture that the New Year should go to the man's home, which is the custom, but also a convENTion rules the vast rural areas.Depends on whether the couple lives in accordance with the traditional environment, their education and traditional attitudes.City people living on the city's culture, the couple to each other, respect each other's choices.

3, objectively speaking, to Which the New Year there is a sense of balance of power, if the husband have the final say, the New Year when we should listen to his wife's turn to make arrangemENTs for his wife to get enough power compensation, in order to facilitate better match next year.Power as the wife, husband, obey, then the New Year when her husband would have a face, so that men feel that they are respected, to remain at home without complaint.

4, a pair of equal couples, two families are equally important, not favoritism.The key is the first marriage should have a clear agreemENT, not because the relationship did not dare face the demands, until the last straw before the outbreak.Man should convince parents to respect his wife's choice, in the New Year to do the necessary adjustments to satisfy the needs of two families.

5, if you really want to find a husband and wife to organize a year of emotional problems, do not choose the best topic to do dinner, because this topic involves both sides of the Family, reminiscENT of affection injury, triggering deep anxiety.Chinese people are generally around the house as part of the self, if they do not respect their own home, just as was to belittle the self, the inner anger can be imagined.They love each other's family is part of love.

PS: thank friends concern and support for a long time, I wish you all a happy New Year, good luck!